Category Archives: An American in California

Immigrant meta-culture

The capellini and eggplant at the Sheraton was nothing special, but the bartender made me a martini French style with sweet vermouth. The drink reminded me, the way it always does, of aperitif in my tiny apartment on the border of Chinatown in the 13th arrondissement in Paris. The bar on the hotel patio had been rented out to the hair group for their company party. Unseasonably cold weather drove the party inside where loud, very plastic women flirted with wannabe-actors. Being in L.A. really is different than anywhere else I’ve ever been.

The quiet guy next to me at the bar glanced over a couple of times. He looked more like me, a business traveler getting his dinner, his laptop on the bar. The place got more and more crowded and somehow we began to speak. I suppose he started it. By the time our dinner arrived, he moved to the seat next to mine so we wouldn’t have to shout.

I probably should have been playing the tourist at the third street promenade, but I was still holding out hope that I would finish writing an article on background images for a series that Opera is putting together. More on that later. Anyway, this could be some clichéd story, but actually he and I had a really interesting conversation about a new culture that is arising out of essentially fitting nowhere.

Anyone that has lived abroad for more than a few years, understands fundamentally not fitting. When I moved to Paris, I expected it to be a culture shock, to really change my ideas. It’s natural, I had to learn the language, and more than that, figure out how to make my way in a culture with vastly different values and customs than my own. To my surprise then, the biggest not-fitting had nothing to do with my adopted culture, but rather the first time I returned home after truly becoming French somewhere deep in my core. It’s only then that you realize your instincts are off, you find odd those who share the culture you once considered as natural as water to a fish.

Dario confirmed that ultimately, when you’ve truly adopted another culture, you can never feel ordinary again. I will be an etranger for the rest of my life. I only feel French when I’m in the States, and I only feel American in Paris. I can only imagine what California is doing to my brain as we speak. In fact, just last night I casually told a group of people about buying a treadmill for my dog, without once thinking that this was a little eccentric.

I wrote about The Namesake, an excellent book about Indians moving to Cambridge for graduate school. When I read it, I wasn’t thinking about the cultural differences of the Indian family, I was empathizing with a situation that so closely resembled my own. These same stories echo in people from around the world. I know an Indian married to a Jewish American woman, living in Boston. I’m an American who married a Frenchman and we’ve lived in Boston, France, and the Silicon Valley. I work with a Bulgarian who has lived in Canada and California. I went to school with Algerians living in the banlieue. I have friends here who have American children though both parents are foreign (what does a word like foreign or international even mean anymore?). I sang with Brits living in Nairobi. And, on this night, I talked to a Spanish man living in New York.

These people, pioneers really, are comfortable everywhere, even as they fit perfectly nowhere. They’ll never have the luxury of believing that their home is perfect or being so firm in their ideas that they don’t even notice them. No matter where they settle, they’ll miss something, or someone, from everywhere they’ve ever lived. And each knows, that they can never truly go home again. In each place, they’ll only feel all the more strongly the parts of them that are drawn to another home. They’ll mix up languages and use words that don’t belong. For me it is dégradé, I simply cannot remember the word in English, at least not while speaking.

Similarly, I’ve come to believe everyone should have access to healthcare, an idea that is only beginning to be considered other than shockingly left wing, in my own country. For an Indian friend, the press of people in Bombay feels slightly overwhelming. Or a Frenchwoman, with her stroller stuck in the sand in Cannes, prefers American friendliness to French politesse. You might think that fitting nowhere is a lonely place to be, and you’d be right, it can be. But I’ve discovered that these multicultural people fit well with each other. No matter where they’ve come from, or moved to, it seems that the archetype of the immigrant is strong enough to bond them in a common un-culture. I enjoy the sense of humor that comes with personal understanding of just how transitory strongly held beliefs can be when you begin to look at them from the eyes of the other. When you begin to be other.

I’ve found the North Pole. J’ai trouvé le pole nord.

Map of the crazy Christmas lights in Redwood City

In fact it is in California, not so far from my house. En fait il se situe en Californie, pres de chez moi.

Somerville, pres de Boston, ou j’ai fait mes etudes est connu pour leurs fetes de lumiere de fin d’année. La maison avec les palmiers en lumiere est celle de mes amis Phi et Rachel.

En Californie ils ont tout a fait autant lumieres mais leurs maisons sont plus petite donc ca brille encore plus. You can visit the neighborhood using the Tour the Crazy Christmas Lights Map.

Best Red White and Blue that didn’t include a flag:

Crazy Christmas lights in Redwood City

Best crazy use of lawn ornaments:

Very well lit Christmas house in Redwood City

Best equal opportunity Jesus/Santa house:

Crazy Christmas lights in Redwood City

They put my house to shame, but I do really like our Christmas tree. I would only say that they really look smaller on the lot than they do once they’re in your living room. Best to measure. Hugo is always right.

More of our Christmas lightsHugo, Clover, and our big-ass Christmas tree

Stubbornella joins the exceptional performance team at Yahoo!

Today was my first day at Yahoo. I spent most of the day in orientation but I am already impressed with the culture. People seem genuinely happy and able to make working hard a part of living well. And damn they’re smart! Fabulous well-rounded geeks. I know, I know, it sounds like I’ve been drinking the kool-aide.

Their site has website performance information and houses the Yslow Firefox extension.

Battling the healthcare insanity.

“Hi my name is Nicole Sullivan, I’ve just moved to the Bay area and I’d like to make an appointment with Dr. X, is she accepting new patients?”

“Well, Dr. X is a man, are you comfortable with a male doctor?” Well, no, duh that is why I looked up “female” in my insurance companies’ doctor directory, but with a name like his and an oh-so-rarely-updated-database it was an easy mistake. That said, I was new to the bay area and scratching like mad from a yeast infection so I simply didn’t have time to change PCP (apparently a well known abbreviation for primary care physician, or doctor as the rest of the world calls it).

”Ok, that will be alright, I have a ….”

“Yeah, so can you tell me what insurance company you are with?” followed by rapid fire inquiries into who was covered? By which employer? Policy numbers, social security numbers, birth dates for my husband, and drivers’ license numbers. Only when she is satisfied by my responses to her invasive questions am I allowed the honor of an appointment.

I can only guess that his fees are prohibitively expensive, were I to pay more than my twenty dollar co-pay. To be fair, she is protecting my from my insurance company who might consider my chosen doctor out of plan, which means that, despite him being a well qualified experienced doctor, recognized by all certifying boards of the United States, they can refuse to pay for my visits. After four years in a country where people protest in the streets if they are asked to pay one Euro for their doctors visits I am unprepared for the money-focused rather than care-focused approach here. The French claim, and rightly so, that fees are a slippery slope.

When I went to my appointment the secretary asked me to fill out a ten page form of personal information, most of which would be used for debt collection in the case where I or my health insurance fail to pay their fees. In a world, and country in particular, where identity theft is so prevalent, or believed to be, I find it both upsetting and unnecessary that they require so much detailed personal information, but hell, I was scratchy and I needed this man.

While filling out the forms and waiting for the doctor, an hour and ten minutes total, not one, two or three drug reps stopped by, but four. Four drug reps in an hour. These salesmen, essentially marketing experts (read prostitutes) for different drug companies deliver free medicines, pens, and clipboards in an attempt to influence which medicines a doctor prescribes for his patients. The secretary told me it is always like that, that they have a sign-in, visits every day, and never have to buy their own lunches. The doctors are courted, and effectively bought, every single day. If drug prices weren’t completely inflated this kind of marketing investment could never be worthwhile. When I think about the number of people, both insured and not, who don’t seek treatment when they are sick because they can’t afford to pay for medicines I find our priorities a bit confusing.

Hillary save us!